He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
