People in love make me want to vomit
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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