i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
