youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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