I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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