I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
