I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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