It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize