I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
