i don't like sucking hair
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
