Just fell off a train. Bad.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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