I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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