the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
