i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
