so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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