I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
