they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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