This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
