Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
