In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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