don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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