My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm sobbing to NWA
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
