when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
