I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
