im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
high people should be assigned attendants
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
