At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
