I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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