omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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