ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
