wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
