all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
