I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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