You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
