Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
