I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
