Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Actions speak louder than pants.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
