i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
