Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I cannot find my penis.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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