i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize