I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
