Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
