The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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