remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
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I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
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We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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