I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
