you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
