So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
