Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
