she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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