she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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