ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
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im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
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Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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