Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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