the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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