I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
