Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Randomize
