I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
