I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
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you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
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Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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