woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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