Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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