Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize
