They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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