Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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