i can't believe i had my finger in that
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
